They told me that the interview would be going live then tried to reassure me about what was going to happen. They didn't even know what was going to happen.Ken came over to me and gave me some non-committal reassurances before the director gave us a ten second countdown."We're here outside the studio building with the protest and one of protesters, Kristy Hyde. First off Kristy, how old are you?" Fourteen." And why are you here?" We think that the censors have got their priorities wrong with respect of sex and violence on film and television." In that there is too much sex on television?" No, certainly not. There isn't enough, especially for programs aimed at people my age. There is however, too much violence. Think about it, it is acceptable for there to be shootings on mainstream television, pre-watershed, but not sex. Millions of people have sex in this country every day, so why are we avoiding showing it?"Why do we want to avoid showing love yet want to show hate and violence?". And when she reached down casually to switch holes, screaming "Worship my shit!" I was transported into a new world of tightness and tautness and tingling wickedness, as she began to make odd little whooping noises, rather like a pigeon, I thought. (And to think, I'd never heard of anal!)The office building was still there, just off Piccadilly, and Ye Gods, was that one a bolt from the blue. Small business, just a husband-and-wife team, for whom I'd been a relatively humble supplier for a few months. The wife knew I had the hots for her, but always treated me like the hired help. Until one day, when I arrived by appointment, to find her in an odd state, tapping her foot with impatience. He'd gone off to a big trade conference in Menorca - "Sorry, wives not invited this year" he told her - leaving her to look after the front desk all week on her tod. Then she discovered by chance that wives had been invited all along. They say the prick has no memory, but I think this one has to.
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